Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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