OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
