Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
