that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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