I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
