there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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