I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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