hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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