You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
