Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Welp...herpes.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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