Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
