Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
