that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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