Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
