it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize