who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
