I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
