i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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