i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
