I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
