woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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