Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
