At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
