I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
