me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
