I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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