love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The uberlube is also flammable
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
