you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
