How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
