porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
