Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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