if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
