Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
