Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
