Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
