I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
what day is it and did you see me today?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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