you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
