4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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