watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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