This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
