i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize