he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
