Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize