wat bout pragnant strippers??
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
