Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
