Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
