Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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