1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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