i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
