Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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