I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
