..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
