Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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