if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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