I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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