My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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