i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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