Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
