No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
