but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
