When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
