No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
