You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
