It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
