i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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