jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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