hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
