'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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