Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
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