no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just high enough for therapy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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