he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize