in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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